ABOUT THE FATHER'S BUSINESS - EPISODE 2: REVELATIONS

 

        Bishop Ansah was up on his feet, prancing around frantically—he was having a nervous breakdown. His fist would clench and unclench, then he'd grind his teeth!

        He roared at the four, "Will you people stop crying and tell me what the heck is going on?"

        Pastor Edwin, shivering, finally offered to recount the story. He began by pleading with the bishop to forgive them. He obliged.

        "So, Daddy, it's like this. Last year, the four of us sat down at my house to watch an American movie. Two dissatisfied couples decided to spice up their marriages by dating each other's partners for a period in the film."

     The others sat in their seats uncomfortably, biting their nails as they listened. At this point, the bishop remained unimpressed. Edwin went on.

        "The goal was to revive the excitement of falling in love with someone new, as well as the jealousy that comes with seeing your spouse with someone else. It made sense to my wife and me, especially because we were considering divorce."

       Bishop Ansah began to feel concerned at this point, as he began to imagine the story's conclusion. Edwin carried on.

"So, we managed to persuade Bismark and Shirley, and they consented..."

“They did what?” Bishop Ansah yelled as he rose from his seat.

"We apologise, Pastor!" Bismark and his wife pleaded together.

"All right, okay! That's okay… you continue!" Bishop said as he returned to his seat.

"From that day forward, I would drop off my wife at Bismark's residence and bring his wife home with me."

“…To-to-to do what?” Bishop Ansah exclaimed in bewilderment.

“Errrm, we will spend the night together!”

“…and doing what?”

“Erm daddy, we-we-we…!”

“Oh, Holy Jesus!” Bishop Ansah screamed as he stood up and kicked his seat. “Go straight to the point!”

“We-we knew each other’s wife…” Edwin feebly said.

“Know? In which sense?” the bishop hollered.

“…in the biblical sense, Daddy”, Edwin said.

        Bishop Ansah smacked him in the face. Bismark rushed in to deflect another strike from the bishop aim at Edwin.

“Bishop please take it easy!” Bismark pleaded.

"Leave my presence, you evil breed!" The bishop yelled.

"Please, we are not done yet." Edwin was still able to utter something. "There's more!"

        The bishop lost his cool and began cursing. He did, however, manage to lean over on one of the seats and tap his feet while waiting for the remainder of the news. Pastor Bismark took over now.

"We agreed that pregnancy was not part of the gentlemanly agreement. However, the moron impregnated my wife three times and conspired with her on each occasion to have an abortion!"

        Bishop Ansah had had it. He stormed out of the meeting, clearly confused!

"Why did you mention abortion, you lowlife! Didn't we agree to exclude that?" Edwin attacked Bismark with rage!

"Who agreed with you, you horrible devil!" Bismark hit back.

        The Bishop then reappeared with a pump-action gun.

"Get away from here, you diseased rhinos!" The bishop bellowed while pointing the loaded gun at them!

        The four scampered recklessly as they fled the area in their vehicles. Sarah fled with the car without her husband in the process. Edwin was left sprinting helter-skelter through the house, with the bishop hot on his tail.

“Daddy, I beg you. Please spare my life! I beg you!”

"You are deserving of death! You are a disgrace to this ministry!" exclaimed the bishop as he began to calm himself and lower the rifle. “How could you do this? What came over you?”

"It was the devil, Daddy!"

“It was onye!” the bishop went profane!

 

       Pastor Kwame Aidoo, a branch pastor of the Renaissance Chapel Ministries, was on a quest to save his ministry before reporting on his church's profits for the week, roughly 2 kilometres from where Bishop Ansah's rage was seething. The finances at his branch church were in deficit by GHS 1,200.00, and according to the church's policy on tithes, offerings, and other contributions, he, the pastor of the branch, was obliged to make up the difference.

    Pastor Kwame had gone to the home of one of his church's wealthiest families, the Hutchfuls, to borrow the money. The trouble was that he had borrowed money from the same family three times in the previous six weeks without paying it back. However, he had few options because he had borrowed money from nearly every member of the church since taking over the management of the branch two years ago.

       His pharmacist income of GHS 3,000.00 was no longer sufficient for him. He supplemented the church's weekly income with more than he earned in a month. Apostle Moses Tay, the church's founder, and a Chartered Accountant by profession was instrumental in developing the church's financial policies. According to the policy, pastor Kwame, a branch pastor, was obliged to transfer GHS 8,000.00 from his 120-member congregation every Tuesday before 2 p.m. It was almost like a check on weekly church attendance: whether people came or not. The policy stated, that church attendance translated into offerings.

         To put on a brave front and indicate that their churches are doing well, the pastors of church branches had resorted to always providing for the deficit in their weekly contributions to escape the catastrophic consequences.

     All of the Renaissance Church's branch pastors had practically become beggars and perpetual paupers. Pastor Kwame's case was no exception. His family's finances have deteriorated greatly since he became the church's branch pastor. Mandy, his wife, had threatened divorce on multiple occasions. But nothing else mattered to Kwame since he was doing the Lord's work.

    "Come in!" Mrs. Hutchful welcomed Pastor Kwame into the Hutchfuls' magnificent residence.

 

TO BE CONTINUED